Kyran

My Stress

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 01:11:34 GMT

You know that feeling where the weight of the world is getting the better of you? Yeah, well I'm there right now.

I have a play to learn lines for but whenever I try to get them into my head they don't fuckin' stick, a musical to learn songs for which fuck wit the lines for my other play, I have my parents nagging me to fuckin' death about getting my P's, I have the task of finding myself a job that I'll actually do good at, I have University (not doing much at the moment) that will soon add some stress with upcoming essays, I have a couple of friends who are annoying me by wanting to talk to me when I have stuff to do, and I am trying to deal with not talking to two of my best friends, Mel and Julie.

And I've had enough. I want to stop the world so I can catch my breath.

But no, things don't get easier, they'll only get harder.

Screw it. I hate it. I know I sound like I'm whinging and whining, but I had to get it outta my system.

I feel dead.

My World

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 22:35:09 GMT

Well, I sit here at University not at a class, and not feeling like going to a class as per usual.

This year is only a few days in an already I'm over its schedule. I am hardly even needed here which is the most annoying part. I'm here for an hour on Mondays, two hours on Tuesdays, two hours on Wednesdays and then randomly on Thursdays I'm here from 10am til 4pm. I mean, wtf @ that?!

Ah well, such is the life of a 2nd Year Uni student, hopefully I won't be here next year though. As I intend on giving this year my all so I can blow this dump and hit where life really is: Melbourne. Of course, laying it all on the line, but I feel confident. This year has been a real eye opener for me so far. Sure not as good as the start of last year. But its better than the start of 2005.

I have two plays coming up, one is Confusions where I play a character called Martin who's going to dinner with my wife, Polly, little does my character know she's been off in Rome sleeping with my fuckin' boss for three weeks. And my boss and his wife are also having dinner at the same resturant and are seated just behind us. Hilariously written with some very funny moments, if you can see it then you should. Its being performed late April I think.

My other play is a musical, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, my God... I've been to what? two or three rehearsals? And already the songs are drilling into my skull lol. And the assistant director, Rose, seems to think its funny to get them stuck BACK in my head when we're out and about and I'm trying to AVOID singing the songs. I'd fight back, but... she's the Assistant Director... so I may as well just cop it, at least it helps me learn.

And asides from that I don't have/want much of a life. My main focus this year is escaping Bendigo. I'll read all the texts, I'll kick ass on all the essays and I'll fluke all the tests/exams. Anything to get out of here. No offence to anyone who actually likes it here, but its a prison, and if you actually want to do something creative with your live (acting, writing, film-making) then you can't do it here. Plain and simple. The courses here are tailored towards Science, Law and Psychology. Not my favoured areas (although I did used to enjoy Psych)

Anyway, I have a class at 10am called "Women in Classical Greece and Rome" and I have no idea where it is. So I'd best be off to see if my friend, Chelsea, is around. Luckily she's in all three of my classes this semester, so if I ever get lost... she's only a text away! Now, if only I had credit to send said text. Haha... I owe my sister $8 of Telstra credit, and I owe Lisa $7 of Telstra credit (although I bet Lisa insists I don't have to pay her back because she sent it to me of her own free will, but I will anyway)

Ciao for now web world.

I will probably get home at around 5pm-ish and have to go out for rehearsals at 9pm-ish. Which means I get to see my musical friends again >_> haha.

Lyrics For You All: Muse - Take A Bow

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 03:23:21 GMT

Corrupt
You corrupt
And bring corruption to all that you touch

Hold
You'll behold
And beholden for all that you've done

Spell
Cast a spell
Cast a spell on the country you run

And risk
You will risk
You will risk all their lives and their souls

And burn
You will burn
You will burn in hell
You'll burn in hell
You'll burn in hell
You burn in hell for your sins

Oh, our freedom's consuming itself
What we've become is contrary to what we want
Take a bow

Death
You bring death
And destruction to all that you touch

Pay
You must pay
You must pay for your crimes against the earth

Hex
Feed the hex
Feed the hex on the country you love

Yeah and beg
You will beg
You will beg for their lives and their souls

Yeah and burn
You will burn
You will burn in hell
You'll burn in hell
You'll burn in hell
You'll burn in hell
You'll burn in hell
Yeah you will burn for all your sins

My 2006, The People I Met

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 18:13:19 GMT

Now a special thing to the incredible people that I have met this year and three very special ones who I have known for longer but deserve a mention because of how much they’ve helped me.

Chelsea – Your so incredibly awesome, and definitely looking forward to many more enjoyable lectures in our second year @ LaTrobe. Please oh please let us be free of the evil that is John Penwill.

Sarah – Haha! Ben Tom and myself were right! You did have a connection to Bec! Even if we didn’t want to say anything in case we looked stupid. You’re a great person to hang around. Never a dull moment with Sarah.

Kat – Why did John have to destroy The Illiad? And he did it in monumental fashion… but we survived and passed. Hopefully you can survive the rest of the holidays living so far away from Bendigo (as fas I know you’re not missing much here). Keep on rocking.

Eugene – You definitely are too cool for school, but University isn’t just school so you have to keep going or so help me *shakes fist* I’ll see you next year man.

Kinsley – It sucks that John was such a jerk to you so often with some things, especially considering you had pretty damn good reasons for him. But noooo heaven forbid John be an understanding individual. Keep being awesome. See you in 07’

Laura – An individual who understands the importance of Sudoku and how it can make ANY class so much more interesting than it normally is.

Erin – We met months ago but only really started talking like… 7 days ago… I mean that’s what I call slack, haha, on my behalf of course… not yours. Well I’m sure can cram those few months into a few weeks whenever I see you on MSN next! Also you’re my favourite 1 cent txt buddy, since you were awesome enough to give me $1 credit. And also, hooray for beds and parents.

Robski – Mr. Rob, what to say. You’ve put up with a lot from me… particularly from one party and that was more than many people have put up with from me, and despite you still bringing it up constantly you’re so cool that words don’t justify it. Plus you have the coolest house I’ve seen since the Henshall’s, but its too hard to judge which wins…

Ellen – See, I was respectful enough not to put the Henshall’s as a collective noun. Instead name by name, its been great meeting you and I still envy the fact your going to Queensland for a holiday. I wish I was, well enjoy the sun and keep being awesome.

Jess – We are in agreement, Chasing Cars is not a boring song. And in the future if anyone says so… they will meet our wrath! Keep on rockin’

Paul – We ruled the backstage, I don’t care what those other backstage people say. It was all us, and maybe a bit of them, haha. We’ve consistently been the same place 3 Saturday’s in a row. Its just how great we are.

Anne – Your very cool, and thanks heaps for that ride home from The Rooms after party. Normally I’d try to avoid that sort of stuff happening but on that particular evening my luck had struck me out.

Gerogie – Despite the amount of times Jess and yourself tried me to play along with your little game where her arms would replace yours I never caved in! I’m more strong-willed than people think.

Damask – I think I’d classify our meeting as this year? Well regardless its great knowing you. You can definitely make any situation so much more entertaining than it normally is. You rock.

Sarah – I might be able to beat your record set in Revolutionary Europe. And if I do, I will expect a medal or something. Hope you enjoy your holidays away from Girton. Make the most of them!

Steve – You’re the best Beast ever… in a good way, and I was your backstage hero and it will forever be remembered on the wall of the Capital Theatre, hooray! You rock.

Chris – You beat me at Poker, I mean a lot of people do, but you BEAT me at Poker, haha. You’re my favourite Gaston, and the girls all swoon over you.

David – We would have been so lost without your Poker set. Apologies for those few times I wasn’t there to get the curtain off your Cogsworth costume. But you got supreme vengeance against Cynthia. Good work!

Bec – I have only spoken to you a couple of times, but I can already tell you’re an incredible person. Was good seeing you at Rob’s yesterday even if it was only for a short time. Keep up the good work.

THE John Gavin – You see John Gavin, so many things can be said but so little sum up the sheer levels of “fucking awesome” that you radiate. Whenever I ask myself “W.W.J.G.D” I know the answer is be smooth and sing a song. Side note: The Monotones kick ass.

And I didn’t meet the following people this year, but I write about them to thank them for everything they’ve done for me this year.

Mel – In all honesty, you are the reason I kept going this year. No one else this year has given me more strength and self-belief than you. Anytime I was down you’d pick me straight back up, dust me off and send me straight back into the fray. And it was for the best as I’ve come out of it feeling so much stronger. Thanks for always being there for me to turn to, even in my darkest hours. You are the only person who knows pretty much everything about me. We’ll be friends for the rest of our lives, this much I know already. We have been through alot and yet we still which buttons we need to push on each other to get a smile. I'll be surprised if anyone ever understands me better than you bella. Keep being the beautiful person you are already and don't ever let any jerks bring you down, because your incredible in every single way. And when we meet this year, it will be grand, love you Melzi!

Julie – Julie, well Julie…you have done a few things for me that, you probably don’t realise this yet either, helped me see the brighter side of life. That quote you said to me at Maccas weeks ago “The world is what you make of it” has stuck with me, hence it being in my MSN name. Your and amazing person and even when I came down to Melbourne with Lisa to try and cheer you up in the end the roles were reversed anyway. I felt terrible about that but thanks for somehow being able to figure me out. I hope you enjoy the DVD copy of Beauty and the beast and am terribly sorry it took so long.

Lisa – Though the random errands have been less and less over the holidays they’ve been some of the highlights of my year. Whether it was washing the car, having Fish ‘n’ Chips for lunch, watching a DVD or going out to the shops because you needed something. You have always been an awesome friend, so incredibly lucky to know you. Who knows what would have happened to me if I didn’t have you here in Bendigo to support me. My other two important people are two hours away. And the love that is there for “Livin’ on a Prayer” will always be remembered, Bon Jovi is a legend. No doubt about it. Looking forward to another year of crazy adventures in 07’ also HAHA if you get stuck with me more at LaTrobe, that would suck lol.

If your not listed here I’m sorry, I’m doing this from memory and these are the people who have had the biggest effect on me this year. Also if I’ve forgotten you then I may have been counting us as meeting last year (which I have done for a few people so stay calm, haha)

Thank you everyone. My friends = my world.

My Friend Needs A Break Life, Give Her One!

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 14:02:30 GMT

Ever notice how some people have it harder in life?

Its not fuckin' fair, right now one of my dearest friends is going through one of these patches, I want to help so bad. She has my full support but things just keep getting worse.

Its one of those times when I want to freeze time and swap places with her, so she can have some relaxing time in my life... I mean I've got problems but she's got more and its not fair.

No matter how hard her life gets though her friends will always be here for me, and that mega includes me. I may live two hours away but she has my full support. If she ever needs me she just needs to say the word and I will drop whatever I'm doing to be there for her. She's one of those special friends you only meet once in your lifetime. One who puts you before herself (which she shouldn't do, because she needs to spoil herself occasionally :P ) but she won't listen to me, shes stubborn like me lol.

Anyway Mel, when you read this, I'm always here for you and in 2008 I'll be there for you more. Julie and me will invade and take you out alot, since its what Julie does and this time I'll be able to do it to someone else (Lucky you :P lol)

Hang in there angel, the light at the end of the tunnel can't be far off. And I'll be here to lead you to that light and beyond, never give up no matter how hard life gets. Don't let it win bella.

xoxo
Your dearest 2 hours away friend, CK aka Kyran.

Always here, never going anywhere
*hugs*

My Concern

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 15:46:52 GMT

Well I was talking to Melzi... but she all of a sudden decided she had to go :( I hope she is okay. I'm worried about her. She said she would brb then when she came back she had to go and I mean really had to go, was offline in moments... I hope she is okay, I hope I didn't upset her...

:( Sorry if I did anything wrong Melzi.

My Extremes

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 15:29:54 GMT

Well I've now experienced the highest of excitement, for the fact I was facing the chance of meeting Mel on the day of my Muse concert... to the letdown of now only having a boring Muse concert to go to, well... if Julie goes it'll be more interesting, otherwise meh.

I messed up again, a habit I have.

Later

My New Layout

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 14:42:21 GMT

What do you think of my new layout Melzi? Like I told you, I tried putting a Cloud/Aerith pick on the background ("Let me be your wings" one) but I couldn't read the text properly... lame.

But for now this is what I have...

My Confusion

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 05:04:23 GMT

A friend on the weekend said to me that "The world is what you make of it..." so I have to wonder... since when did I make it such a nightmarish place where dreams never come true for me? I mean, I'm not a bad person I don't deserve what this world gives me but it still decides to kick me while I'm down and what the hell for? Nothing, thats what...

I should be in a good mood because today I handed in my last essay for the year, but I'm not because I know it was shit and I estimate my mark will be about a D, that seems to be my average for the year. No one is on MSN to talk to, well one person is but she is busy. I have nothing to do except think... I can't even write.

Meh, out.

"I just don't know, how to say how I feel.
Those three words I've said too much but not enough"
-Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

My Stress

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 03:39:46 GMT

Its amazing, from feeling great last night after hanging out with Julie I've been reduced to a stressed wreck because of stupid fuckin' gay shit re-enrolment for fuckin' gay stupid shit LaTrobe Bendigo. And then a gay 2,500 essay about a topic I don't give a fuck about.

But at least once thats done I can focus on finding a course I'll like.

Meh, I'm stressed.

Later

My Angel's Birthday

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 15:24:09 GMT

Today is the birthday of a very special friend of mine. Her name is Mel (I won't use her full name, I know she doesn't like it which is silly... my ame is clearly worse =p hehe), it is her 19th and this is a special LJ written just for her on her special day.

I met Mel at the start of last year, and from the first moment I talked to her I knew a connection would form, and boy was I right. I've now known her for a year and ten months and though we've had our ups and downs our friendship is still going strong. She is possibly actually no... most likely the most AMAZING person I have met to date.

I want to thank her in so many ways for so many things, its hard to know where to start. She has sacrificed alot to talk to me in the past and likewise me to talk to her. And I hold no regrets, every memory I have with Mel is a memory I cherish. The good ones I cherish because they keep me smiling no matter how hard the world kicks me, the bad ones I cherish because they show me that the friendship I share with her is REAL... not like those fake ones where the two people never have disagreements, in reality people can't be happy all the time. Mel and myself are both examples of this, when we're happy we're incredibly happy and nothing brings us down, but when we're down we can't possibly get much lower. I'm so lucky I have her to pick me up when I'm down, I don't know what I'd do without her. And I'm certain she's thankful I'm there to pick her up when shes down.

Today Julie promised me I'd meet Mel soon, she saw I was crushed and honestly I believe it.... I dunno, it probably sounds strange that I'd believe Julie about meeting Mel. But I have faith.

Mel, I hope your bithday is as good as it can be, and try to smile for it... because when you do the light that shines from your amazing smile can't help but spread to me ;p and thus make me smile... and we know how big my smile is hehe. You have saved me from the end so many times now, and I'm so glad you did.... I can't imagine an existence without you, especially one where I'm no longer here and you still live.

We've laughed, we've cried, we've smiled, we've argued, we've teamed up against people... we've nearly done it all and our frienship is still in its early days. You, Mel, are a friend that I want to keep forever.

So were I there with you, and a glass of champagne I would toast to another of a beautiful angel's life on earth, one of many many many many more to come.

Your friend now and forever,
Kyran.

Your beautiful.
Your generous.
Your funny.
Your caring.
Your an angel.
Your why I know I have to fight on.

xoxo for you huni.

Sun, 22 Oct 2006 23:56:45 GMT

"When the world turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world" - Timon from Disney's The Lion King

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 03:22:16 GMT

No comment lovin' for Kyran :( Sucks to have a dead livejournal like this.

My Angel's Absence

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 03:09:24 GMT

Well I just talked to Mel for 20 minutes, now apparently I can't talk to her til like next week :( this is going to be hard because I am going to be getting extremely down during the next 5 or 6 days since University is going to be fuckin' with my head. And Mel is the one person who can truly pick me up, sure I have two other friends who can... but as soon as their gone so is that feeling of being safe.

Well I suppose I'll see how I go, God I can already feel the F's flowing forward towards me, definitely not showing my marks for this semester to my parents. Just like I didn't show them last semester, they wouldn't be happy to know I failed Rev: Europe lol... $680 down the drain... gay HECs. Hell I might not even be there next year.

Meh... well Kyran, guess you gotta hold on... you'll get to talk to Mel again soon, so thats what you shall fight through the next week for.

My Missing Part

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 22:47:26 GMT

Well apparently I might not get to talk to Mel til like next week

That sucks :( I guess if I sleep lots then next week will come faster... otherwise its going to be Hell.

Miss her so much

:(

Later.

My Ultimate Challenge

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 12:12:48 GMT

So I've dragged myself through a year of Uni, amassed a $5,000 HECs debt and it all comes down to this last 4 days of University.

I have an 2,000 word essay about the ANZACs to write for Australian History, which was due a few weeks ago but I had an extension.

I have a 2,500 word essay on what is labelled a deviant in today's society for SPC, which I can't write but I'll just hand shit in if I have to, a pass is a pass by this stage.

I have a test about The Aeneid in Classical Literature, so I really better look into some summaries for that book about the creation of Rome by Aeneas and his defeat of the mighty Turnus in Italy.

I have a test in Greek Mythology on the "Hymn to Demeter" and Plato's "The Phaedo", the second one I did in Philosophy last year... but I hated it, and nothing has changed this year... the Hell with you Plato and your Socrates crap.

I have test in SPC on a range of topics, mostly Aboriginal issues such as the Mabo Decision, Reconciliation and the whole Stolen Generation jazz... you know, the usual stuff you'd expect in a Politics class... grrr, I hate Politics.

I have a test in Australian History about our evolution as a nation throughout the 1900's... I know jack all about that, but I figure I can try and fluke it ;p I'll be doing a bit of study, but honestly its only worth like 20% and I got an A on the first essay and passed the first test... should pass this History subject.

But apart from all that shit we have two positives.

I am the proud owner of Disney's Hercules, and Mel's birthday is next Friday... brainstorming time.

Later

Yes my life still sucks for the majority... but its my punishment for being Kyran.

My Sleepless Night

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 23:13:21 GMT

Well here I am, at Uni, after a sleepless night... not much fun.

I'm currently holding up in the Computer Lab at Uni until I decide to go to a lecture, I have one at 10am... so that means I still have 50 minutes of nothingness to embrace... lets see how I go.

I feel bad about what I wrote last night... and was probably being way over-dramatic. But I've had those feelings bottled up for many months now its not funny. And for the friends I trust (ie. Mel, Lisa and Julie) I'm sorry you had to see this side of me, but I had to get it out of my system. I don't know how okay I'll be... just try not to worry about me.

All my life I've been a burden to at least one person and I hate having that guilty feeling where I know I'm bringing someone down... it kills me to see those few people I love in agony... and somehow I feel as though I am responsible for this.

Yes, sleepless night = too much thinking for Kyran.

My Curtain Call

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 11:14:21 GMT

Well I watched "Gladiator" today and I noticed a particular quote stand out to me.

"What we do in life... echoes in eternity" - Maximus.

It made think because what does this mean for me? If what I've done in life does indeed echo in eternity then my life will no doubt be the slightest whisper which last a mere few minutes after my tormented soul departs this world for a better existence.

This thought hit me last night while I was out clubbing, everyone out having fun... except me, shielding myself from the world with the mask of alcohol. The tragic thing about my life is that there is only one way for me to truly grasp happiness but tonight I realised that will never happen.

I have never claimed openly to be much of a fighter and over the course of every single painful hellish day this year has thrown at me. I realise my time has come, for better or for worse I officially give up.

I can't take the hits anymore, I can't take the loneliness, I can't take the torture I feel I am putting onto the one I love more than everything this world can ever give me.

So consider this a goodbye of sorts... I can't hold on anymore, University, life, friends, love... they all got the better of me in the end I suppose. Please don't blame yourself, I'll always exist somewhere, somehow, and sometime we may be reunited... if that does happen then the true Kyran shall meet you then....

Do not mourn me, I don't want to bring anymore pain to anyone... which is all I've done.

I'm sorry for everything, I wish I could of been the person I was last year... but we know who to thank for that dieing... but I won't point the blame at him... this is my fault, for being so weak and pathetic.

The Kyran of old...

I'm sorry Mel, I have and always will love you... no matter what I hope that helps you smile when the darkness engulfs you... I'm always with you...

No matter what the "know-it-all" king of cunts thinks... I love you.

My Contemplation

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 06:42:47 GMT

I hired out a game today, Kingdom Hearts 2, and have just recently finished it, it only took me 30 hours and I just thought I'd blog about the interesting storyline.

Basically its a story continued from the first Kingdom Hearts, creatures which are created from the darkness in people's hearts (Heartless) and they basically go from world to world trying to capture the hearts of innocent people. But the sequel built upon that, for every person with a STRONG heart who becomes a Heartless, they leave behind their body as a shell, this hollow being becomes a Nobody. Nobodies are eerie things, moving like ghosts mostly because they do not exist essentially.

First off our story starts with Roxas, a young kid living in a place called Twilight Town. Everything seems normal until slowly we learn that Roxas isn't quite normal... then he vanishes and we are re-introduced to our hero, Sora.

A team of 13 Nobodies (6 or 7 of which are already dead) is striving to gain control of the mysterious "Kingdom Hearts" in order to get hearts for themselves and become human. They stop at nothing, manipulating everything and everyone to get what they want, I don't want to spoil the story for those who want to find out for themselves... but Melzi, if you want to know more I will tell you, I doubt you'll be interested... Cloud was there though, and Aerith... I was happy.

Its such an amazing story of how important friends are, the hardships that friends face, and a tale of how even the greatest evil can be defeated by the brightest of hope.

And it got me thinking, I really like the whole Nobody concept, the idea that we all have an "other" self.

I had to wait 6 months after America got it to play it... but now I have, I hold no regrets.

On other notes though I've been pretty pissed off because I didn't go see the musical last night, I wanted to... but parents wouldn't give me money, even though it was my pay-day. So I was trapped home, then they didn't let me on the internet... dammit.

So yeah, catchya...

My Life

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 23:56:37 GMT

My life isn't very fun at the moment. I don't feel like talking to my friends, University is killing me, and I have no inspiration for my writing. So what DO I have left to look forward to this year? Well if I meet Melzi thats one thing... otherwise the only other thing I have is New Years.

Because this year has sucked so much its not funny... I've met new people, most of whom I'm NOT a fan of... I dunno, why do I continue to fight on when the end result will be the same no matter what?

Meh, maybe its true that ignorance is bliss...

My Achievement

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 23:18:37 GMT

Woo-hoo, I'm at Uni where I've managed to amount a $4,896 HECS debt... how good am i? Isn't Uni just the greatest?

YAY FOR UNI AND ITS SYSTEMIC BUT SLOW RUINING OF MY LIFE!

Also I'd like to thank one of my former close friends for fucking up my life and future I may have had earlier this year. Nice one mate, I'm kinda glad you got what you did from Brod, its all you deserve.

Gone.

Whats inside Kyran?

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 08:13:59 GMT

Nothing...

SURPRISE!

My Uncertainty

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 07:39:04 GMT

God, I can't take University anymore... I went to two of four classes today, I cbf dealing with it anymore.... maybe I should just accept the fact that I'm not meant to go anywhere in life. At least thats how it seems, I started off so well as well, this year has been the death of me... nothing good has come from it. Last year was my year...

Out.

My Shame, I'm sorry everyone I know... I really am...

Sat, 07 Oct 2006 06:06:39 GMT

Kyran here, coming to you after a disgraceful night in which I am still stuck dwelling in my shame... a disgrace to everyone I've ever met... thats me.

I had the Beauty and the Beast cast party last night... and it started fine, the beers were going down well (Not sure if thats good or bad...) and then I went to see the Monotones, that was fun... then back to Rob's for more of the cast party and thats when it happened. I can't quite pinpoint why it happened... or when... but I started to drink red wine and beer, and I was done.

Next thing I remember is being curled up in the bath, sobbing like a whingy little bitch being very drunk... covered in my own disgrace from drinking too much clutching at my phone. How did I get this way? I used to be happy but now I'm not, I have nothing... nothing at all.

I'm sorry everyone I know, mainly you Mel... I'm sorry I can't be better... not anymore, I am not strong enough anymore.

I'm sorry Lisa... I'm sorry Julie, wish I was stronger.

And I'm also sorry everyone at the party who had to see me in pieces, sorry Rob, sorry Nelson, sorry Dave, sorry Sarah, sorry Ellen, sorry Jannah, sorry Chris, sorry Ben Moore, sorry Thomas, sorry Vern, sorry Gael, sorry Marissa, sorry Bec, sorry John Gavin, sorry everyone I didn't mention.

This could be it...

You all said you'd be cool today
So please for my sake
I can't believe his gone
I can't believe your going
I can't believe this family must die
Angel helped us believe in love
I can't believe you disagree
I can't believe this is...
...Goodbye
-GOODBYE LOVE - RENT, the Musical

My Fall

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 13:05:46 GMT

I think I've reached my limit.

Today I learned of a plan which LaTrobe is trying to force onto Bendigo's LaTrobe which would result in some of our lecturers being dropped and we instead would be taught by Satalite linked conferences... ie. We would be watching the lecturer on a projector screen lecture in Melbourne here in Bendigo.

AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF THAT? We will be paying the same fees as them ($600 per class) and we get a shithouse education... fuck you LaTrobe Melbourne, if this passes I will not be continuing my education with your second rate education set up... honestly, ignoring the regions is a BIG mistake. Its not our fault that your attempt to get that Medical Centre attempt failed... so don't punish us.

Just another stress to add to my life, I now truly do feel as though my legs have been taken from beneath me as now I'm lying flat on my back... looking up towards the sky, and its growing cloudy again... gathering storm clouds... well we'll see how all this goes.

Up yours LaTrobe.

...losing grip.

Catcya